Harpoon Teeth

"It's funny how teeth can make someone look bad or good all on their own. Like, a guy could be super good looking, but if his teeth are screwed up, he looks like a freak."

"Yeah it never really happens with eyes. They can be big or small or slanted or whatever, but whatever they are, you can find some way to like them."

"And noses are never too much of a problem. Owen Wilson's nose looks like it got caught in the fridge 8 or 9 times, but he's still good looking."

"Yeah, unless you're Michael Jackson or Tycho Brahe. There's no redeeming those noses."

" Mouths are a little more problematic though. That guy on guitar hero is a complete freak."

"Oh man yeah! But it's not really his mouth. It's more his teeth. They look like harpoons. And his tongue is the whale."

"He was probably called "Harpoon Teeth" as a child on the playground. It hurt at first, but eventually he came to terms with it and adopted it as a nickname."

"Then he started a band. "Harpoon Teeth." He originally wanted it to be techno, but the name kinda limited it to metal."

"I just figured out what I want to do for a job. Write biographies for video game characters.