Structured Snail Tickling

"Gee whiz, Nelson, the internet's as slow as a slug on drugs."

"Maybe David's watching something."

"He left."

"Maybe Anthony's watching something."

"He left."

"Maybe Steve's watching something."

"He... Oh yeah, he's here."

"Or maybe Melinda is watching dancing with the stars."

"Melinda is dancing with the stars."

"Melinda is Jupiter."

"Whoa! The whole universe is in a dance! Isn't it crazy how everything outside the earth is so structured?! The earth takes 365 days to go around the Sun, the entire galaxy is spinning in perfect tempo with the rest of the universe! On the subatomic level, too! Every particle within an atom is perfectly balanced and spaced; every atom is placed according to need, every part of a cell performing its function with exactitude to form a healthy cell, one in a billion cells, all working forward for the good of the body."

"And the body is a mess. Like, scratching my ear isn't very structured, is it?"

"How do you know? It could be structured in an incredibly subtle, sophisticated and poetic way. Whoa! What if you could use scratching yourself as a mnemonic device? Scratch memory!"

"We should write a book on it! 'I went through Harvard using scratch memory'"

"'You should've seen me present my thesis! I was fidgeting like a hypochondriac covered in moldy pastries.' man it would be hard to remember where to itch every time you needed to remember something."

"Just work from the top down. 'the hair... the nose... the armpit..."

"You could use it to help you present a topic on various body parts. Whoa that's weird, I just had a flashback to when I was five and we found some snails in a tree."