Beef, Elk River Falls, and Bruce Willis

"If only we had a sun roof."

"Do you have a sun roof?"

"Yes, this is my son, Roof."

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"Hmmm possession of stolen goods. Why do they always call them goods? Why not bads?"

"What would that be? 'Hey! You stole my moldy bagels! But that's okay.'"

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"You know how, whenever you get lyposuction-"

"Which happens a lot."

"You're all saggy?"

"Sure."

"You could say, "My midriff is adrift!"

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"So much peer pressure my ears are popping!"

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"I just realized--every time you close your phone, you're flipping it off!"

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Stephen: "Lemme show you this song. Track number 8."

"Numero Octopus."

"What is wrong with your cat?!!?"

"Hah what do you call siamese twin cats?"

"An Octopus!"

"If I ever get a siamese cat, I'm calling it Octopus."

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"Isn't there something you can touch a leech with and it'll release it's grip?"

"Yeah I think it's bananas."

"My Kryptonite is BANANAS."

"What would happen if a leech bit a vampire?"

"It would turn into a leech, of course."

"WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME!?!?"

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"I'm getting moo-tion sick. Like an ostracized cow."

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STRUM STRUM

"This is a huge guitar. The top string is by my face, the bottom one at my ankles."

"Imagine trying to play chords! You could use your hands to press the frets and your feet to strum!"

"Except for 3 string chords you'd have to use your face."

"I really want to make a giant face ukelele now."

"Face ukelele! You could strum with your nose!"

"You could recognize face ukelele players by the calluses on their noses."

"I see you play the ukelele."

"Why yes I do."

"There could be a whole line of face instruments. Like bongos. for the face."

"Fongo!"

"Fango!"

"Sounds like an Australian animal."

"Or the sound a banjo makes."