Birch Tree (W)Rap

"Y'know, I never really got why everyone thinks trees look like old men. They look more like young people to me, reaching up."

"And they're all holding hands."

"Maybe the wind blew their hair and someone happened to have some hairspray on hand."

"What's blue and white?"

"Eminem in Antarctica."

Laughless, Legless, Loveless

"Did you know that the average person laughs 13 times per day?"

"Whoa. I bet you can't keep from laughing 13 times the rest of the night."

"You're on."

"What's brown and sticky?"

"Haha. Oops that's one. Heh. Oh dang hahaha. Oh. Haha. Aw man! Hehehe darn it. That's five..."

Emoridgidoo

"I had an interesting mental image the other day. An emo aboriginal playing music on his didgeridoo."

He's Short--He Deserves to Be Pushed Over

"Why is there a higher mortality rate among skydiving midgets?"

"They have 3 feet farther to fall."

Flip Flop Flip

"What do you call flip flops for a person with two left feet?"

"Flip flips?"

"No, flop flops. Flip flips are for people with two right feet. Right feet are more dextrous. If you have two left feet you're more likely to flop."

Tectonic Carrots

"What is orange and three feet tall?"

"A Leprechaun that ate too many carrots!"





"What does a clumsy waiter carry food on?"

"Tectonic plates!"

clickity bang

"i think it's just a one round game"

"like russian roulette!"