Elvis Was White

"Hey, check out my new dance! I call it the cardboard box."

"Break it down."

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"Wait...Wait...wait for it... Double-decker bicycle."

Make Like a Chinese Thief and Take a Wok

"Hi, can I make like Chaos and take your order?"

"No pressure, just make like video games and take your time."

"Make like a centaur and take umbrage?"

"Make like a real estate agent and take your place."

I Willn't Dump Stir... Fry

"Do not play in on or around the dumpster."

"Also, do not play between, among, under, or behind the dumpster."

"Do not play through the dumpster."

"Do not play with the dumpster."

"Do not play without the dumpster."

"Do not play against the dumpster."

"Do not provoke the dumpster."

"Do not tease the dumpster."

"Do not misunderstand the dumpster."

"Do not befriend the dumpster."

"Do not invite the dumpster over for dinner."

"Do not ask the dumpster for directions."

"Do not make eye contact with the dumpster."

A Punch in the Gills

"Commas are important. They can change a lot. For example: Tickle me, Elmo."

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"Hello. I'm your great grandfather... Clock."

"Did you hear? Grandfather clock had a stroke!"

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"Y'know, the prefix 'be' means 'taken off' when you're saying 'beheaded,' but it doesn't really work in any other circumstance. Like betrothed."

"I've lost my trothe! Or besmirched."

"Someone stole my smirch! Or benighted."

"Nope, not yours. Betrayed."

"The waiter came and took my tray. It was then I realized--I had been betrayed."

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"Brilliant deduction."

"Yes, let me show you de duck shun. Duck, get away. You deserve naught but misery."

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"See that constellation? Yeah that's the Double Dipper. Also known as Jerkos Major. Son, never be like him."