Noodle Slap

If you add noodles onto pretty much anything, it makes it better. And slightly more awkward.

"Filing Sermon Notes with Noodles!"

"How to read a book... with noodles."

"I'm going to go cozy up to Plutarch. With noodles."

"I bought a new couch with noodles."

"Hi! I'd like a bacon cheesburger with noodles please?"

"I'm going to grow a mustache with noodles!"

"I'm watching you... with noodles..."

"I just swept the kitchen floor with noodles."

"My friend cut my hair yesterday with noodles."

"I'm currently typing on my keyboard with noodles."

"Let's play darts with noodles!"

"I buttoned my shirt with noodles this morning."

"I hung a picture with noodles."

"During the Persian war, the Athenians conquered the Persian navy at Salamis with noodles."

"Obama held a press conference today with noodles."

"We sang several hymns with noodles."

"Yeah I got a Brita pitcher and it filters water with noodles."

"I went bungee jumping once with noodles."

"I changed a tire with noodles."

"The Dallas Cowboys can never win a game with noodles."

"There are thousands of illegal immigrants with noodles in this country."

"My teacher taught me about the War for Independence with noodles."

"I replaced my doorknob. With noodles."

"Every morning I shave my face with noodles."

"I gotta go to the gas station to fill up my car with noodles."

"In the spring, the trees began to blossom again with noodles."

"My dog ate my homework with noodles."

"I took my dog for a walk with noodles."

"My lousy neighbor built a fence with noodles."

"I hired some people to paint my house with noodles."

"Jeff is going to fix my bike with noodles."

"The correct way to cut the head off a fish is to put your finger through its gills, then slice along the neckline through the spine with noodles."

"When I was a kid, I built a treehouse with noodles."

"27 is 3 multiplied 3 times with noodles."

"Hitler tried to take over the world with noodles."

"BUY NOW! Mold and soap scum remover with noodles!"

"There's a spider on the wall! With noodles!"

"I live in an apartment with Noodles. He's not a bad roommate. Though there is an interesting story behind his nickname..."

Of course, many of these things could really be applied to MacGyver.

High on Wife

"Y'know, 'wife' is just 'life' with a speech impediment."

"How's wife man?"

"Oh she's good. Wife's just fwoating awong."

"Gwad to hear it. Did you know cats have nine wives?"

"Yeah man. Mine was running from a dog yesterday and ran into a pole. That was one of his wives gone."

"Which one, the dog or the pole?"