Spuperman

"You look kind of like Clark Kent with those glasses on. Or maybe Peter Parker. I'm not sure which."

"Those are my alter egos. Sometimes I am Clark Kent; sometimes Peter Parker. I am Alter Ego Man!"

"Y'know, there's probably someone else out there who goes around as Spiderman."

"When disaster strikes, I enter a telephone booth as Spiderman, and emerge as Superman!"

"How do you do that?!"

"I'm like one of those plastic Easter eggs. Half of me is pink and the other half green."

"You're a Siamese twin?"

"Ha what if Spiderman and Superman were Siamese twins?"

"Only their legs would be allergic to kryptonite."

Pet Names

"Hey look! It's Harrigan the Good Works Clam! He's a clam who hands out Easter eggs..."

"You look at tired as Leroy, the Lion of Slumber."

"Just like Gilgamesh the selfish shellfish."

"Rolling Ham, the Parapalegic Pig."