Antibacterial Handpasta

"So I was thinking about awkward today. Turns out it's all in the legs. If someone complimented your shirt, you'd think 'oh, okay.' If they complimented your pants, you'd wonder... It's like, if someone said, 'You have nice hands,' it would be fine. But it would be weird to say, 'I like your knees...'"

"I dunno--I wouldn't be entirely comfortable with people complimenting my hands. What would you say? 'Thanks. I brush regularly.'?"

"Handpaste. Gross."

"Nosepaste!"

"Just be careful not to use anti-cavity paste."

"It filled in my nostrils!"