High on Wife

"Y'know, 'wife' is just 'life' with a speech impediment."

"How's wife man?"

"Oh she's good. Wife's just fwoating awong."

"Gwad to hear it. Did you know cats have nine wives?"

"Yeah man. Mine was running from a dog yesterday and ran into a pole. That was one of his wives gone."

"Which one, the dog or the pole?"