Have You Ever Actually Heard of Anyone Dying From a Lightning Strike?

“Soul sucking surge protector sandals.”

“You could get struck by lightning and survive.”

“All that would happen is your sandals would explode.”

Inflated Oxy Moron

"Money makes my world go round. Like a tire. But I don't have enough money. So my world is flat. But if I have enough money, my world is well-inflated. And when I have too much my world explodes."

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"My this dictionary is definitious."

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"I'm the Crazy Metaphor Man! They call me Crametaman!"

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"I always forget my tips. A dollar a day keeps the doctor away."

"That's not quite right."

"Oh. I forgot my tips again."